Comparison, and Why It's Okay to Not Be Okay

We must continue to try to smile through the pain. To find laughter in the tears. To find hope in the hopeless. To understand that control is an illusion and comparison is destructive.

Our lives are uniquely ours -no matter how similar another’s road may appear. Our fabric is different (our core self), the threads that hold us together are individual (our personal life experiences), our genetics and biology, exclusive. We go through life with expectation that prevents us from accepting and loving the life we own. Your life is yours and yours alone. Your experience is not to be judged or graded in relation to another’s- as a persons life is a culmination of who they are- not who you are.

We as a family- are living a life much different then the status quo.
Some of which many people are aware of - some challenges remain private out of respect for my family. Everyday is somewhat of an unknown, and often things can change on the minute. As a family, we do our best to rise up and meet our day no matter how many times we may get knocked down. We struggle and some days functioning is barely possible.

I have learned that on those days - I need to release myself; accept that I don’t have control, that I can give what I have -and know that is enough despite the outcome- even if it is not the outcome I wanted. I have learned that comparison is downright toxic - especially when you are living a life very few can comprehend. When your family does not function as the “societal” norm. That your good day and the accomplishments of your family are starkly different than traditional concepts.

So although our circumstances may be extreme -this habit of comparison is so darn pervasive and invasive within us all. We increase the severity and impact of our challenges quite often because of our subconscious comparative nature- instead of just accepting and living our own unique experience.

P.S. The comparison I am speaking of is not just toward a friend, neighbor or family member. The comparison I speak of also includes societal norms and what we have been programmed to believed is- right, good, achievement, beauty, success, normal. Pay attention- we trap ourselves more often then we realize.

-Stephanie